It's Hard To Find a Good Sugar Daddy!

I keep hearing this all the time from women. The economy is bad so many new sugar babies are looking for sugar daddies. That means there is some stiff competition going on in the sugar daddy world.

Like I always preach, don't depend totally on a man! Get some freelance work, an extra job, etc. to keep afloat if you are facing financial difficulties.

Ladies, remember to always be on the lookout for men in the most unlikely places. A lot of good prospects wont be on the sugar daddy dating sites.

Be well dressed and prepared to charm a sugar daddy! He needs to clearly see what makes you different from other women.

Happy Hunting!

Leidra

Is He Straight or Gay?

Is He Straight or Gay?

Dear Leidra,

I have been dating this guy for four months and something is off with him. We kiss and make out and I think maybe we are moving towards having sex pretty soon. But I get the feeling that he is gay.

When we first met, Jeff told me a story about how some guy kind of hit on him when he went on a vacation several years ago. He said he was by himself walking near a pathway near the beach and a guy kept looking at him while walking behind some bushes nearby. The man obviously wanted Jeff to follow him. He saw the man having sex with another man. I thought that was a rather strange expereince for a straight guy.

A month later, he told when at college, he got hit on all of the time by men. And finally, we watched a movie where a very good looking actor was baring his naked butt. Jeff told me how good the actor's butt looked!

I am confused. He looks manly and doesn't act gay. I am sick and tired of Jeff talking about men this way. Do you think he is gay?

I Want To Know in California

Dear Want To Know,

Have you ever heard the saying that if it sounds like a duck, acts like a duck, then it is duck?

I think deep down inside, you know that he is gay or at the very least, bisexual. Women sometimes ignore their instincts, especially when they feel they lack experience in a situation.

It is very interesting that you don't call the man that you have been dating for four months, "boyfriend." Is it because that you don't feel he is being real with you? I would think dating a man more than two months would make him a boyfriend.

I also think it is interesting that you have not had sex with Jeff. I am inclined to believe that he doesn't want to because he desires men instead.

And honestly, what else do you need to hear to convince you that he is gay? A straight guy follows a man behind a bush and watches him with another man? That means Jeff had to be standing there for awhile. Hmm...I wonder if he was really talking about himself participating?

Jeff could be in denial and had these encounters with men on an inconsistent basis, and he thinks that dating you can set things right. Some gay friends told me that due to the pressure of being gay that they dated and sometimes even married women. But they couldn't suppress the truth for long, and eventually ended those fake relationships and started living openly gay.

If Jeff is bisexual, he could be testing you by telling you these stories to see how you react. Maybe he hopes you would accept bisexuality. You never did tell me what you said when he told you these things. I am inclined to believe that you said nothing, and he may believe that you are fine with what he is telling you. Being upfront with you about the situation would be the way to go, if he is gay or bisexual.

You should tell him what you really feel and not play games with you. Stop seeing Jeff since you reservations about the relationship. That is not healthy for you and Jeff emotionally. Once he accepts who he really is (whether that is bisexual or gay), then he can chose an appropriate mate that is okay with that decision.

Leidra Lawson's Advice

Welcome to my Advice Column. If you have not heard of me or read my book, Sugar Daddy 101 then, please feel free to check out my website and Yahoo group. I have written for many publications and given advice on topics such as: sex, finding a sugar daddy, men looking for wives , investing money, womens issues, etc.

In addition to being a writer, I also run a matchmaking service catering to wealthy men seeking quality relationships.

Please enjoy my first column posted below and send me your thoughts and questions. If you are seeking advice please send a private email to: queensugarbaby@yahoo.com All letters become my intellectual property and may be used for national/international publication.

Ask Leidra
What you Need to Know in... and Out of the Sheets

How Can I Get a Long-Term Sugar Baby?

Dear Leidra,

I love your website, your book, and I wanted to let you know that you are doing a wonderful service. There are so many ladies out there who would love to be spoiled by
the right man, and there are so many men who love to spoil and pamper. Thank
you for spreading the word!

I have been on Yahoo for three years seeking a sugar baby. I have never used any other method to find one. But, I am having difficulty in keeping a sugar daddy relation for more than four months.

I hate overuse of the term “sugar daddy”, as it seems any man who can take a lady to dinner considers himself a sugar daddy these days. I consider myself a true sugar daddy. I am 46 years old and live in Florida. I am somewhat, happily married with two young children and wish to remain married. I own a global business with offices in Florida, Italy, and Chicago. I work very hard and enjoy the company of a young, sexy woman. I feel guilty about cheating on my wife, but I feel she doesn’t understand me and rarely wants to have sex with me.

I love to have a good time, enjoy travel and fine dining. I would like to meet a sugar baby who is open minded, will not complain, outgoing, happy, beautiful, sexy, passionate, busy with her life, and not seeking a relationship—possibly even married.) I would prefer a sugar baby whom resides in Florida, but I am open to other places, especially Italy. It is important that this sort of relationship add to both of our lives.

I can offer my sugar baby a number of things: exotic vacations, clothes, an apartment, an allowance, jewelry, gifts, etc. I have given a combination of all of these things to previous sugar babies. The one thing I do not do is give everything upfront and then hope the situation works. I believe that intelligent people can tell quickly if things will work out or not and I am not looking to get burned.

I would love any additional tips that will give me success in finding that special long-term sugar baby.

Best Regards
Eric. L

Hello Eric,
Thanks so much for the encouragement. I am glad to spread the word about a lifestyle enjoyed by a lot of people.

Your letter was very thorough, and I have a few comments and suggestions that will help you. I make many suggestions in my book for women. One of the things I teach is to use other places, besides the Internet, to meet men. I would suggest you do a male version of “freestyling” as a described in my book. Freestyling is simply going places to meet people. This could be: charity events, upscale restaurants, while shopping, etc.

You said that you want a woman that “will not complain.” I do not know what planet you come from, but women complain from time to time, as well as men. LOL Do not expect a woman to be perfect, like a robot wife from “Stepford Wives.” I suspect that you are setting your expectations too high and that is why you can’t keep a sugar baby for more than four months. You also mentioned that your wife doesn’t understand you and doesn’t want sex. Could it be in part of you have unrealistic expectations of her too? Maybe you will find that your wife understands you more and will crave sex if you change your approach. And who knows, maybe by working on your marriage, you will find that you don’t need a sugar baby relationship on the side anymore.

Leidra Lawson, Author of Sugar Daddy 101

Copyright 2003